FRUSTRATION~ CANCER SUCKS!

Jason drove me back to KU Cancer Center yesterday for two biopsies. A stereotactic biopsy on the right breast (which they have already done a biopsy on and found cancer) because of some more microcalcifcations that they found when they did the MRI and an MRI guided biopsy on the left breast because of a mass they saw when they did the MRI.  I asked the doctor who was going to perform the biopsy if he thought these microcalcifications on the right breast  were cancer and his reply was yes. He did not think the mass on the left breast was cancer though  :(     Why then, do I have to go through these procedures if you already know it is cancer or not???  Well, they did the first procedure and supposedly gave me 4 times the normal amount of lidocaine . I thought everything seemed to be going as smooth as the first biopsy done several weeks ago....then all of the sudden I felt something that felt similar to what I assume a nail gun would feel like when it penetrates your skin. It hurt so bad I cried. The doctor asked me what I would rate my pain on a scale of 0 to 10.... I am thinking 25!  It scared me ...but I did make it through this biopsy.....They took me then, to wrap it up and on to the MRI guided biopsy. I laid down on the bed to do it and the right breast proceeded to bleed.... The doctor came in and I told him I needed a Valium to get through this procedure. He said that he thought I had already been through enough that day and we should just reschedule. With the right breast hurting terribly I just agreed....but I remain frustrated with the doctors and myself.....because I need to get all of this pre-surgery stuff done.... I worry that the longer we wait....the more time this cancer has to spread. The first biopsy should not have hurt so bad! God I am sick of this ......I HATE CANCER! There are mornings when Jason has gone to work and the kids have gone to school when I just cry it out... I am glad I have this time alone.....that way I can try to be so brave in front of the kids.

Thanks for everyone's continued support and keep the prayers coming... GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH!