I haven't slept well this weekend... I know it is probably silly and maybe most normal people would get through all of this without a glitch, but not me.... I feel so strong sometimes....like I can handle just about anything, but this weekend has been especially tough for me for whatever reason. Last week, the nurse from my surgeon's office told me that I am very brave. LOL Not feeling very brave at the moment, but I know some how, some way I have to get through this. I am worried about the upcoming MRI biopsy on Tuesday. They are going to give me Valium for my nerves, but I am afraid it won't be enough and I will freak out... I wish I was not so claustrophobic and I hate the idea of going back in that machine. I have also had anxiety from thoughts of the ominous and fast approaching surgery....even though as of today.....I still don't have a date for it. It is all there......going through my mind like race cars driving around a track at max speed. It is always there.....even during the day....my mind is racing. So, for the record....I am pretty exhausted mentally and physically and just want to get through these next couple of months. The waiting is excruciating. Please keep all the positive thoughts and prayers coming as I am going to need all the help and support I can get!
Restless
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